I’m not bad; I’m suffering

Sometimes you do things that are destructive to you or someone you love.  Most of the time you really don’t want to do it but you do it anyway.  You then feel guilty and disgusted with yourself.  It makes you say mean and hateful things to yourself.  I used to do that.  It was a nightmarish pattern that seemed to never end.  I started to believe the lies I told myself like: “You are just a low life disgusting human being”.  Since I believed it, that’s how I behaved.  I was very deceitful and manipulative.  That is how I thought I had to survive in this world.

I was wrong about myself.  It took a long time for me to realize that I’m not a bad person, I was suffering from bad experiences I had as a child.  Once I started saying to myself “I’m suffering”, I then began the process of healing and ending that suffering.  It was a long journey but I was determined to live a much better life than the one I currently had.  My suffering started to come to an end when I started to love myself.  I mean fully, completely and unconditionally.  I learned to be the love of my life instead of constantly looking for it from others.  Love truly is a healer.  When you truly love yourself it shows in all you do and say to yourself and others.  Love is best received through acts of love rather than words.  Instead of trying to feel love for yourself, show love to yourself….then you will have the feeling and once you do, you will not want to feel any other way about yourself.

A trauma recovery coach can help you learn the art of self love and help you understand that the way things are right now is not the way they should stay.  If you are not the person you want to be right now then you must put in the emotional work necessary to become who you want.  It’s up to you.  You are worth it!